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02/09/05 12:27:36 am
I went downtown yesterday (Monday). I was filling in at another location of the bookstore that I work for. My store manager is friends with the manager of the downtown store. Someone got sick and they asked me to go down and help out.
I really don't mind taking the train, or even going into the city. Jerry and I took Walter and Chauncey downtown on the train a few times. We all sat, one behind the other, on the top deck. Occasionally, there some conversation, but mostly, our eyes were plastered to the window, and the rushing scenes behind it. Houses. Factories. Warehouse. Downtown business districts of the suburbs. All of it rushing by in a constant slide-show, sideshow of life. I still find myself waving each time the train passes the house where my grandparents used to live. Not that they could ever see it, of course. It was just fun, being able to say “ I know that place. I've been in that house.” The siding that could have used a little paint. The roof that had faded slightly over the years but was still in good shape. The old chain link fence and my grandparents dog running up and down its length barking at every train that passed. Once or twice I wondered if Marvin (the dog) actually saw me waving as I passed; it was kind of odd the way he stopped and cocked his head.
The misty rain in the city was cold and rather depressing. By the time I got back out to my stop though, it was well after ten. The night air was cool and damp. My glasses kept filling with drops and I had to keep wiping them off on my shirt. Piles of still melting snow were clumped in the grass around the parking lot. The snow, the grass, the air, the dampness, it was all like a winter-spring. You know how sometimes winter weather warms up for a day or two, just before another cold blast comes in and kicks you in the groin?
The sweet kiss of winter-spring A season of a day Cool and wet upon my cheeks A soft hello and Then a quick and harsh goodbye What purpose has it To tempt and tease our patience Of winter doldrums Sparking anticipation And new beginnings Only to snuff them again The very next day
Maybe the purpose of Nature giving us a winter-spring is to remind us, that even though winter still has a ways to go, She has not forgotten us. Like a letter from a friend that you haven't heard from in a while, letting you know that they are still planning on coming into town.
Kind of wondered off the subject there for a while didn't I? These journal entries seem to be doing that. True, I did set up this site as an homage to my friend, Walter. True, I have been thinking a lot about him, probably more in the last few months than I have in years. Still, as the site's creator, this site is about me too. Things going through my head at any given moment.
On top of that, when it comes to Walter (and everything else lately) I feel totally lost. The more I think about Walter, the more I realize what a bad friend I was. The more I realize how much I've forgotten. Maybe my mind a my memory will be jogged by this writing process. I'm hoping so.